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#HusbandsAndWives #Divine #Marriage #Life #MinistryAndMarriage ๐Ÿ’‘๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’ž

This is not going to be a prophetic "word" per se, but an admonishment that I feel needs to be discussed, especially among leaders in the body, as well as those they are leading.ย 

Husband and wives: Let me admonish you a bit in your relationship. You need to be your spouses #1 cheerleader and encourager in life. You need to be encouraging one another greatly, in private and in public. You need to be building each other up, not tearing each other down. Stop telling them everything they do wrong, while never telling them what they do right! ๐Ÿ˜ Do I ever tell my husband the things I don't like that he does? Yes, of course I do. But that is truly only about 15-20% of the time. The rest of the 80% I am telling him what I love, admire, and appreciate about him. He does the same with me, and trust me, it makes hearing the 20% much easier when it does come. We need to remember that our spouse is another human, with needs, hopes, dreams, as well as insecurites & past hurts they are working through. They are not just someone there to meet our needs, but are living out their own walk with God, that happens to coincide with ours. Stop expecting more out of them than you do anyone else, even yourself. You give others grace and mercy....give them grace and mercy also, and even more so, as they are the one God has you walking this life with. Also, it may sound cliche, but you need to love your spouse. I may say "Of course I love them...I'm married to them aren't I?!" But do you? Not just in word, but in deed? You aren't automatically "loving" them because you are married to them. Love is an action, and as they always say, actions speak louder than words. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Let's look at what Paul says the "action" of love looks like in 1 Cor.13 ~ "Love is patient, love is kind, it is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant; it does not act unbecomingly; Love does not seek its own, it is not provoked, and does not take into account a wrong suffered; it does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth..." Does that sound like the way you are "loving" your spouse? Sometimes, it seems as though Christians think they must treat others that way, but fail to remember they must treat their spouse with that kind of "love" also. Are you patient with your spouse? Are you kind? Are you not easily provoked? The old saying goes that "familiarity breeds contempt", meaning that the more you are around someone, the more you see their faults, the more you begin to look badly on them, and find contempt for them and their actions. This is certainly true. We must be very careful, that just because we live with each other every day, we don't begin to take each other for granted, and begin to find them "contemptible". You need to always try to look on each other with the eyes of love and respect. You may be wondering - Do I do all of these things all of the time? No, sometimes I fail miserably, and so does my darling husband...but we do try hard to do these things. And let me be clear...we don't simply post encouraging and "loving" things on FB for others to see and think we really love each other, all the while tearing the other down and disrespecting them in private. We both truly try to do this most of the time, both in private and in public. However, let me say this, if there is a time to point out something you don't like about your spouse, or something they've done wrong, it is almost never in public. To do that is immature, and it is disrespectful to your spouse in one of the worst ways possible. It can and will affect them, as well as your relationship, in a very negative way. It is simply wrong. Don't throw them under the proverbial bus. This is your partner in life, and when they go down, you go down with them. I meet many people who tend to discuss their spouse, and their behavior, with much contempt. I understand that sometimes there is behavior that a spouse is displaying that is less than desirable, and I understand that sometimes this needs to be discussed with someone else. This is fine when it is in the case of seeking counseling regarding the situation in an effort to get help, but it is not okay when it is simply done in a slandering and dishonoring way, to anyone and everyone that will listen. This is where love "covering a multitude of sins" needs to come into play more than ever. You and your spouse are on the same team, and you need to cover them as much as possible. That does not mean completely overlooking bad behavior, nor does it mean allowing any type of verbal, emotional, or physical abuse. That is not okay, on any level, no matter how much love there is for someone. Sometimes, bad behavior truly is an issue and needs to be dealt with, but it needs to be dealt with by going to your spiritual leaders or trusted advisors, and letting them help guide you through dealing with the issues at hand...not by going to anyone and everyone to let them know exactly how awful your spouse is. Some do this as a way to simply get people on "their side" of the argument, but that is not respectful of your spouse, who is suppose to be your teammate in life. So to sum up...Spouses need to display and mirror love and respect for one another. The more you build your spouse up, the more you are encouraging them to become the best version of themselves they can be, the person God has always intended them to be. And that is going to be the best for everyone! and encourage one another. When one of you wins, you both win! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ’–ย 

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